recording update and such... - April 5, 2009
...so far the Trestle Singers! and I have tracked the majority of the new record. the basic tracks of 11 songs are done which we recorded live within a two day span in our friend Joey Lemons' living room. it was a blast...screaming guitars, cans and cans of PBR and old style, lots of cursing after mess-ups and mistakes and lots of shouting and excitement after unexpected great takes...we've just got a couple more things to track as well as the mixing and mastering. i'm really excited and hope that it's all finished soon...
...for me, making music is so invigorating and frustrating at the same time. the whole process is so emotionally tolling. taking the insides of yourself and trying to make some sort of sense of everything and then bringing it to life with words and instruments and voices...and then then letting it out in the open for everyone to hear. it's all so freeing yet brings about so much doubt and insecurity at the same time. sometimes it's almost intolerable and i want to hate it because it hurts yet i can't give it up because it's in my blood to create and articulate.
the life of an artist is so dirty and so brilliant at the same time. when one is finally able to connect their heart and mind to words and phrases and chords and melodies it's the most incredible and nourishing feeling.
and i can't help but think...will i always have this constant struggle of contemplating the value of what i am doing? who really cares? who is really affected and is this all in my head or do others see it and feel it too? and will i ever be able to do this full time and is this important enough to anybody else to make it worth the constant agony, the push and pull of human emotion.
why do i feel so often like i am going to explode and how to i become content with where i am at at this very moment w/out forsaking goals and determination to move forward? how do i become satisfied with the few individuals who have been affected and inspired by what i create because they matter just as much as the masses?
sometimes i have to go back to the beginning and remind myself that success is not the ability to gain recognition from the masses but the ability to touch one human heart at one particular moment with one lyric or melody to help them see things just a little more clearly or perhaps step to the other side for just a moment where it's a little bit brighter...
i will deal with this tension for the rest of my life because i can't help but to create and find some sort of meaning in all the chaos.
these are my circular thoughts over the past few months and they continue to gain momentum with time.
...for me, making music is so invigorating and frustrating at the same time. the whole process is so emotionally tolling. taking the insides of yourself and trying to make some sort of sense of everything and then bringing it to life with words and instruments and voices...and then then letting it out in the open for everyone to hear. it's all so freeing yet brings about so much doubt and insecurity at the same time. sometimes it's almost intolerable and i want to hate it because it hurts yet i can't give it up because it's in my blood to create and articulate.
the life of an artist is so dirty and so brilliant at the same time. when one is finally able to connect their heart and mind to words and phrases and chords and melodies it's the most incredible and nourishing feeling.
and i can't help but think...will i always have this constant struggle of contemplating the value of what i am doing? who really cares? who is really affected and is this all in my head or do others see it and feel it too? and will i ever be able to do this full time and is this important enough to anybody else to make it worth the constant agony, the push and pull of human emotion.
why do i feel so often like i am going to explode and how to i become content with where i am at at this very moment w/out forsaking goals and determination to move forward? how do i become satisfied with the few individuals who have been affected and inspired by what i create because they matter just as much as the masses?
sometimes i have to go back to the beginning and remind myself that success is not the ability to gain recognition from the masses but the ability to touch one human heart at one particular moment with one lyric or melody to help them see things just a little more clearly or perhaps step to the other side for just a moment where it's a little bit brighter...
i will deal with this tension for the rest of my life because i can't help but to create and find some sort of meaning in all the chaos.
these are my circular thoughts over the past few months and they continue to gain momentum with time.